


they said it wasn't going to rain today

by getthisoff



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Break Up, Cheating, M/M, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-17
Updated: 2017-03-17
Packaged: 2018-10-06 12:57:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10335236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/getthisoff/pseuds/getthisoff
Summary: just when I thought a dayas beautiful as everyone else’swas about to startclouds out of nowheregather to pour down their rainhow could I have an umbrella with me





	

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from October Rain by 10cm; I highly recommend you give this song a listen before reading. enjoy!

 

The rumble of thunder and the consistent drumming of rain against his bedroom window jolted Jackson awake that morning; mouth full of cotton, hair a mess, and his bleary eyes taking in the canyon-like expanse between himself and Mark.

 

He should’ve seen it coming.

 

It was like watching iron rust over time. First, it was the excuses; the “I don’t want to kiss you with morning breath, you smelly toad!” Then came the offensive – “You’re too big Jacks, can’t you give me some space?”. Soon, it even escalated to just simply three words; “Leave me alone,”.

 

It was so slow; so sure- but to Jackson, it was like whiplash. One morning they had woken up so intricately intertwined that he couldn’t tell where he ended and Mark began, and the next morning, he had turned on his back to find that he could hardly skim the nape of Mark’s neck with the tips of his fingers. All too suddenly, they couldn’t be any further apart despite lying on the same bed.

 

He should’ve seen it coming.

 

Mark had always been the most loved, cared for and sought after among the members of the group despite not being the leader; despite being the oldest. He was caring and kind and thoughtful and beautiful and all kinds of lovely. Jackson was used to having to share Mark with the rest of the members. He was used to watching Mark suck up to Jaebum to get what he wanted. He was used to watching Mark look at Youngjae like the latter had hung the sun, moon, and stars. He was used to Mark and Jinyoung being so intimate and close that he felt like an intruder even in his own home. He was used to it and he accepted it because he comforted himself with the fact that no matter how far away his Mark went, the older would eventually come back to him and only him.

 

Looking at the expanse of bed between them (it was only an arm’s length, but it felt like an eternity), suddenly Jackson wasn’t so sure of his beliefs.

 

He should’ve seen it coming.

 

He had fallen asleep again for about an hour, only to wake up to find the other side of the bed made, cold, and most importantly, empty. Jolting up, Jackson’s sleep crusted eyes searched the room frantically, his ears perking up to check if Mark had gone to the bathroom. This wasn’t the first time he’d woken up alone at all, what with differing schedules and all, but something about waking up alone today in particular just felt different. It felt like the beginning of something that dangerously and worryingly resembled the end.

 

Getting out of bed, Jackson strode over to the bathroom; finding it still clean and very much unoccupied, he rushed through his morning routine like a man on fire before taking giant steps out the door of his bedroom and into the living room, only to stop short, words caught in his throat like stones.

 

He should’ve seen it coming.

 

When Jackson was a trainee, he had been bullied by other trainees, especially the locals who resented his popularity among the staff. He’d been called untalented, stupid, useless, that he had no place in the industry because he was a foreigner and could never be one of them; would never fit in. For a long time, it had made him question whether coming to South Korea was worth leaving behind all the hard work he had put in to his fencing career, or falling out of the graces of his family as the beloved son who brought honour home on a monthly basis.

 

The harsh words and harassment had scarred him emotionally and lowered his self-esteem tremendously. For a while, Jackson hadn’t truly felt happy; at least, not until he met Mark, the quiet beautiful boy in the back of the practice room who always seemed to be able to captivate an entire group without having to say a word. Who had a smile that dulled all the pain of the harsh pre-debut training days. Sure, It had taken a lot of healing before he could come to the point where he was today, and even then there were still some days where he felt like scum of the earth. But Mark had always been there with him; his calm presence the one constant in the chaos of lights and fans and loud music that made his ears ring.

 

That being said, taking in the sight before him, he would’ve traded that single moment for all those dark pre-debut days. Anything could’ve hurt less than what was before him as he stopped at the end of the hallway, just before the living room.

 

It felt like time was suspended and the air in his lungs had all gone. He couldn’t feel his fingers of legs or head or any-fucking-thing because right there on the couch was Mark. _His_ Mark _._ Making out with what looked like Jinyoung.

 

The best (and probably saddest) part of all was that Jackson wasn’t even surprised. The shock that ran down his spine wasn’t from the heart-wrenching pain of seeing the love of his life in the arms of another. Instead, it was the bitter acceptance that the ugly thoughts he had worked so damn hard to suppress and deny had finally been confirmed; that the suspicions he had brushed off time and time again were actually true. That Mark was never his to begin with, despite Jackson having given the former his all and more- Jackson would’ve taken a bullet to the heart for Mark; he never could’ve guessed that it’d be Mark that’d be firing the gun.

 

He should’ve seen it coming.

 

Jackson thought to himself. Maybe if he was better at singing and rapping, or taller, or smarter, or less loud and obnoxious. Maybe if he was all the things he wasn’t, maybe then would Mark look at him with even half the amount of love Jackson knew the elder held for Jinyoung. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

 

He should’ve seen it coming.

 

As if a switch had been flipped, Jackson quietly walked out of the front door leaving not even a whisper in his trace, taking along nothing with him except the clothes on his back and enough petty cash for a short taxi ride. As if on autopilot, he continued walking down the hall of their building, riding down the elevator and stepping out onto the sidewalk. It was still quite early; people were only just stepping out of their homes to get to work.

 

The frosty morning coupled with the torrential downpour soaked Jackson’s thick hoodie and stuck his hair to his forehead in no time; it was a recipe for disaster in terms of his immune system, but he paid no mind to it. He paid mind to nothing as he continued walking down the pavement, a figurative glass wall in front of his eyes. He could see, but not really. Could hear, but not really. Could feel, but not really. Not really anything at all.

 

He should’ve seen it coming.

 

Reaching the one part of the Han River that he always went to when he needed to get away, Jackson found his bench (the same bench where he confessed to Mark of his sexuality; the same bench where they had shared their first kiss- _it probably wasn’t a good idea to come_ _here after all_ , Jackson thought to himself) and took a seat.

 

Jackson sat down, his breath laboured and his mind replaying what he had just seen like a broken record. Suddenly, lightning flashed across the sky, prompting the heavens to open even further, the rain getting heavier and hitting at his body like tiny little bullets; a blessed distraction in disguise. He sat there and held it all in until he just couldn’t. Until the regret and insecurity and disappointment bubbled out of his mouth in a gut wrenching scream, and his bitter hurt and the discarded pieces of his soul fell out of his eyes and on to his lips like salty rain.

 

He should’ve seen it coming.

 

He should’ve seen it coming in the way Mark never wanted to be held by him. In the way Mark’s amazing smiles never seemed to be directed to him anymore. In the way Mark held on to Jinyoung’s every word. In the way Mark would immediately gravitate to anyone and everyone else but him whenever he got back from individual schedules. In the way he suddenly felt like a spectator instead of a participant in his own damn relationship.

 

Jackson held nothing against Jinyoung for being the one Mark was directing his affections too. It wasn’t Jinyoung’s fault, Jackson thought to himself. Heck, it wasn’t even Mark’s. Jackson felt it was his, who didn’t seem to realise that perhaps, he really should’ve known better. Content always seem to be fleeting in this life he leads.

 

Should’ve. Maybe. Could’ve. His mum always used to warn him of getting ahead of himself. Maybe Jackson should’ve listened.

 

Maybe Jackson should’ve known better than to fall head over heels in love in a hurricane without preparing an umbrella.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading. feel free to follow me on [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/outsseun).


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